The Power of Undisturbed Birth
We welcomed our little boy, Nadir Aviv, at 2:39am in our home on Sunday October 1st, 2017. I labored all day Saturday with contractions that had no clear pattern. My partner and I ate delicious food throughout the day and watched a couple movies. I would periodically waddle around the house or bounce on my birth ball while he rubbed my lower back.
By the evening I didn't feel like anything was progressing. I spoke with Marea on the phone and she suggested that I have a glass of wine and take a bath to see if it would either slow things down and allow me to rest or get things moving along. The sun set, I had my glass of wine, and I got in the bath tub to see if anything would change. And boy did it!
The hot water allowed me to relax and breathe through each surge more easily. I felt Nadir shift in my belly and suddenly the contractions became stronger and consistent at 4 minutes apart. I couldn’t lay down anymore so I went to the shower. Very shortly they were coming every 2 minutes. I told my partner to call Marea over to our house, and she arrived soon after. After laboring in the shower for an hour, I moved to the bed. I was on hands and knees leaning over a stack of pillows. The candles, essentials oils, and rebozos became obsolete. I didn't want to be touched or talked to. I just needed to go within. Swaying and letting out deep, loud moans was all that could help me at this point. I started to hear that voice in my head tell me: I’m done. But I knew there was only one way through this. So I just focused on this moment and breathing through it. Though I was so disconnected from anything going on outside of me, I was intensely connected to what was happening inside. I felt so clear as my body transitioned through each phase of labor.
Soon I turned over onto my back and I could hear the sounds coming out of my mouth shift into pushing sounds. I was bringing him down the birth canal. Marea asked me to go empty my bladder before he got too low so I went to the toilet and tried to pee. Then POP went my amniotic sack. She came over to me and said calmly that it’s probably going to get more intense now. She was right!
Within a couple minutes my body was uncontrollably pushing. These contractions didn’t hurt so much because now the sensation was in my bottom. I could feel his head from inside. It was actually amazing being so present to what was happening inside me. But I was also scared and saying that I don’t think he would fit through me. It felt like so much pressure!
I got up off the toilet after a few contractions. By this time I was actually yelling through each one from what felt like a deep place in my throat. Somehow I was able to cope by being as loud as I felt the contraction was in intensity. I went to hands and knees on the floor. Every contraction I could feel his head coming lower and lower. It was stretching me and it burned for a moment. Between them, I could feel his head go back in and it was such a relief. I remember thinking, yes just stay in there!
By the last contraction, it was so strong, I just had to go into the pain. I knew it was the only way to get to the other side. I felt his head emerge and it was a relief. I had a breather finally while my partner supported his head. I didn’t really have a strong contraction after that but I needed to get his body out because he was a little stuck with the cord wrapped over his shoulder. I let out the absolute biggest most powerful sounds I’ve ever heard come out of my body. I felt Marea’s hands go inside me to help pull him out. And holy shit it was the biggest relief ever to feel the rest of his body leave mine.
Papa caught him and held him while I took a few breaths and then flipped over onto my bottom. I was suddenly holding my baby and all the pain washed away. I could not believe what just happened. It was pure bliss after that.
I have such an appreciation for home birth midwives. Many people think home birth is not safe. And I ran into some obstacles like losing more blood than usual. But I was totally taken care of with the skills, supplies, and support of my midwife. She is so badass. In addition, Marea gave me the space to labor in peace and let my body guide the birth. I didn't have any cervical checks. The room was quiet, dark, and cozy. And my baby was born into such a calm, loving space. I could not be happier with my birth experience.